Brokenness

And he beheld them, and said, What is this then that is written, The stone which the builders rejected, the same is become the head of the corner? Whosoever shall fall upon that stone shall be broken; but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder.
Luke 20:17‭-‬18 KJV

Until recently I thought I knew a thing or two about what it means to be broken. But I was wrong, seriously wrong. I was living my life by the old adage, "I'll do everything I can and let God handle the rest". If you want a fine lesson in humility and becoming humble, I invite you to try it this way.

I've always been the type of man that takes pride in taking care of my family, making sure they had what they needed. I thought I had it all under control. That was the problem, I thought I had control. I'd been living like everything my family had was because of my works.

The last two months something changed this view on life, this foolish pride I had. No matter how hard I worked, needs weren't being met. I couldn't get it done and that was a problem.

I got down, why couldn't I fix things? What was I doing wrong? I've been doing my job, I haven't been wasteful, what was the deal?

I wasn't broken before Him, I wasn't trusting Him. I trusted in me. I had no choice now but to be broken, every time I looked my family in the face I felt it. Every time the phone rang from the mortgage company, I felt the helplessness. It brought me to the place where I finally realized I had to let it all go, let everything go. Nothing I could do would fix this.

I had to fall upon my face and be broken before Him, and that's what I did. I gave it all, everything to God. I didn't ask him for anything. I just had to let Him know that all my trust was in Him. Everything is starting to right itself, and I've had no control or done anything myself. This killed my pride, but that's not a bad thing. That's what needed to happen. It had to happen. I am grateful for this.

Fall upon Him and be broken. Don't learn the hard way like me. God bless!

He is married to the backslider

This thought isn't an easy one to write about, might be tough for some to hear.

 The church(not the building, us) does a great job of trying to bring in those that have never known the Lord, but what are we doing for the backsliders? God forbid, but have we just brushed them aside, saying "they chose to walk away" or "they put themselves in the situation they're in. That my friends is hog wash!

The word of God says that he is married to the backslider!

Turn, O backsliding children, saith the Lord ; for I am married unto you: and I will take you one of a city, and two of a family, and I will bring you to Zion:
Jeremiah 3:14 KJV

We must do what we can to reach them! There's nothing wrong with making new converts, but what about those of the flock that have wandered off and went astray? Would a shepherd just forget about one of his sheep that have wandered off or would he do what he could to bring them back into the fold?

 Just something that's been weighing on me today, bless you all!

Don't be a Dog

For if after they have escaped the pollutions of the world through the knowledge of the Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, they are again entangled therein, and overcome, the latter end is worse with them than the beginning.  For it had been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than, after they have known it, to turn from the holy commandment delivered unto them.  But it is happened unto them according to the true proverb, The dog is turned to his own vomit again; and the sow that was washed to her wallowing in the mire.
2 Peter 2:20‭-‬22 KJV

  Once God delivers us from something why do we return to it? Very simply, it's because we don't do our part to prevent it from happening again. We think just cause he delivered us we're ok now, everything is good. I've been there myself, carried something so long, finally came to a replace of repentance, received deliverance only to get slack in prayer and fall right back into the same garbage that had me bound. The same stuff I swore i hated.

We have to maintain our relationship with Him, through prayer. If that communication breaks down we'll turn to something else, every time. Stay strong! Pray! Don't be like the dog returning to it's vomit! Be so strong in your relationship with Jesus that you love Him too much to go back to those things he delivered you from! He loves you, and so do I. Be blessed!

Sinking in our problems

  

  And Peter answered him and said, Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water. And he said, Come. And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus. But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me.
Matthew 14:28‭-‬30 KJV

  Everyone goes through things in life, everyone has had and will have problems. It's just a part of things we must endure while in this world. The past couple of months,it seems my family and I have been going through quite a bit. I will not go into details,because I'm not here for a pity party.

  At first I questioned why these things were happening, and wondering what have I done wrong? This morning while praying, I was seeking the Lord, asking for answers about the problems I've been having, and He brought the above passage to my remembrance.

  See Peter had problems, "he saw the wind boisterous". Peter did not notice or give place to these problems while he had his attention on the Lord. When he turned his attention from Jesus and gave it to his problems, he began to sink and his problems then became greater. 

  We have to keep our eyes upon Him! We have to trust Him! Then and only then will we see our problems for what they are, minuscule compared to a mighty God.

  "On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand"

                                                    Bless you all,

                                                              Josh

Out of the mouth of babes...

  Quite possibly in life you've heard someone talk about their "wake up" moment. A moment where something figuratively knocks you upside the head and causes you to realize what you are, or not doing. A couple of days ago, i had mine. it hit me so hard that i haven't been able to shake it. The moment has crossed my mind at least once the last couple of days. I'll tell the story in a moment, but first I'll give a little background about what has been going on.

  I have been back slidden since around November of last year. I've only been to church once or twice since then. I don't pray, i don't read my Bible, my children have heard me say and have seen me do things that I swore as a young man I would never let my children experience because I knew what it felt like as a child. To be quite frank about it, I'm ashamed of myself for this, but anyhow on to my " wake up" moment.

  Me and my family were sitting in the den watching a movie. During the entire movie, my kids ( being kids) continually bombarded me with questions. Finally after losing my patience I jokingly said, " Lord, take me now". My son, Alex, broke into tears and cried, " Daddy, don't say that!"

  It really messed me up on the inside. Why? Because i know he wasn't just saying that due to the thought of losing his dad. He knows that my soul would be in danger of spending an eternity in hell. I've known that  for a while, but now I SEE it, because of my child.

  It's time to change my life, I've got to. Not just for my own soul, but for theirs.

                                                                                     Thank you for your prayers,
                                                                                                                  Josh

"Everything is Good"

It's been a good while since I've written something here, and I find myself in a entirely different place in my life than when I wrote here in the past.

I'm lost, don't know I wound up here or how to get back, I only know that I can't stand the shape I'm in.

I have everything I've ever wanted, a wife and kids that adore me, a job that I love, a nice house, and relatively good health. Everything that nearly every blue collar man in America could ask for, but I'm still not happy.

I feel like a prisoner in my own skin. I'm not the husband or father that my family deserves and needs and I'm ashamed of that fact.

I've been putting up a front to everyone that cares for me, just telling them "everything is good" when they ask how I'm doing. Everything is not ok, I'm miserable.

I don't sleep well no matter what time I go to bed and I know it's because my soul is tired, I've been feeding it worthless junk for so long now that it is slowing dying because of the unhealthy things I've been feeding it.

I'm sorry, I'm not trying to make anyone feel sorry for me. That is not my intentions. If this post reaches you, know that I love you and consider you one of my people. I don't let a lot of folks inside of my walls. If you read this please pray for me, I'm tired and I don't know to find the rest I need.

                                             Love you all,
                                                                Josh

Don't be afraid of the Deep!

1 Corinthians 2: 9-10
  But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.

  But God hath revealed them unto us by his Spirit: for the spirit searcheth all things, yea, the deep things of God.

As a child i can remember going to the creek close to where we lived. I can remember playing in the shallow water, watching the older kids and adults swinging from the rope swing into the deeper water. I can remember being scared to go and do it myself, but as I grew older I finally had the courage to try it for myself. What a feeling it was, jumping from that rope into the deep water! That was where the fun was at, how come I had been missing out all of those years? It is the same way with our walk with God. When we are young in our walk, we try to stay in the shallows, to afraid or unsure about venturing out into the deep, but as we mature that's where we need to be.

The Holy Ghost shows us the deep things of God while we pray and fast and through His Word. This is where we should stay in our spiritual walk. I know myself in times past have left too early from a deep move of the Holy Ghost while in prayer. Maybe if i would have just tarried a little longer i wouldn't have missed what the Lord was trying to impart into my spirit.

Luke 5:4-6
  Now when he had left speaking, he said unto Simon, Launch out into the deep, and let down your nets for a draught. And Simon answering said unto him, Master, we have toiled all the night, and have taken nothing: nevertheless at thy word I will let down the net. And when they had this done, they inclosed a great multitude of fishes: and their net brake.

Peter told the Lord, " Master we have been out here in the deep all night and nothing has happened." It might just be me, but i feel like the Lord was telling him that maybe if he had stayed out in the deep a little longer he would have gotten what the Lord wanted him to have!

I know the deep places are somewhere we're not used to, somewhere that makes us uncomfortable, but when we are out of our comfort zone that's where the growing takes place! Let's not be afraid to launch out into the deep!